I squeezed in an Upskirt Jerk this morning even before I’d finished my early cup of joe, and for once, I didn’t even have to leave the house or risk getting trespassed at Starbucks again. Unlike my usual experiments in voyeurism, I wasn’t quite enjoying myself all by myself; I had some sweet, sexy encouragement from the lady whose skirt I was looking up. I know this sounds like the thing you have to pay a fetish escort a bunch of money for, but nah, you can get in on the fun for less than you’re paying for your daily coffee fix.
I really feel like the name gives away the gimmick here. UpskirtJerk.com is a premium porn site where beautiful women offer some wank encouragement while showing off the goods. These guys have been around for a decade now, which is a nice, long run on an internet full of fickle perverts. As we’ll see in a minute here, they’re still cranking out the dirty movies, and I’m still cranking out fresh batches of my secret sauce while watching. Read on and I’ll tell you all about it.
Upskirt Jerking in the Land of the Free
We’re living through a strange moment in history. As an American, I always assumed I’d always have unrestricted access to fapworthy content, no matter where in the country I traveled. As I type this up, though, UpskirtJerk actually has two different tour pages. If you’re visiting from a state with newly implemented anti-porn laws, you get a SFW spread of pretty-girl thumbnails and a message explaining the lack of nudity. “Due to your State or Country Age Verification laws, we are not able to show you the goods. Once you join you will be able to see all of the uncensored content.”
If you’re using a VPN or just live in a more civilized part of the country, you’ll be greeted by a much more typical paysite preview page. It’s not quite as explicit or cum-drenched as your average hardcore site, but the gorgeous women covering the page are in various states of undress, teasing the exquisite T&A they’ve been endowed with.
UpskirtJerk.com doesn’t shoot with the biggest names in the world, which is a big part of the appeal if you’re into legit girls next door. They work with stunning amateurs and small-time porn starlets, the kind of girls with single names like Demi, Dolly and Maya. There’s a Khaleesi in there, too, and I hope this mother of dragons doesn’t burn down my whole damn city with her hotness. Maybe she adopted the name before the last episode…
Free previews are no longer a given on premium paysites, but joints that have been around this long tend to keep it old-school. Sure enough, UpskirtJerk offers some free video previews, but you only get five per day. I checked out the 40-second trailer for Horny Housekeeper, which opens with the titular character on her hands and knees. Within moments, we start getting those upskirt peeks that lured us all in to begin with. The dialog on the site leans more toward JOE (Jerk Off Encouragement) than JOI (Jerk Off Instructions), but they do have 40 flicks tagged with the latter if you like a slightly bossier gal.
Like Getting Your Wank Encouragement at Costco
The separate, SFW tour page ain’t the only thing that’s different if you try to check out UpskirtJerk.com from a state that hates porno. They also charge you a big-ass-premium over the usual $30 they’re charging everyone else. The signup form linked to the SFW tour only has a $50 monthly option, and if you ain’t careful, they also opt you into a “free” trial for another site that rebills at $40 after two days. If you’re in a state like Indiana and want to get around this, be sure to check out my list of Best VPN Sites here at ThePornDude!
On the regular signup page, it’s only $30 a month, with respectable discounts on longer plans. There’s a $50 network package that includes access to sites like WankItNow, DownBlouseJerk, and Bopping Babes, which is a nice bulk deal on premium smut. It’s unclear if the $50 package linked on the SFW tour includes the network, but either way, I’d like the option.
Out front, UpskirtJerk claims they’ve got over 6,000 videos. Well, I think that’s what you get in the big network package, because I counted significantly fewer with the Upskirt Jerk brand name. It’s still a more than respectable catalog, though, with around 3600 videos as of this writing. Hell, I’ve only got around 200 at PornDudeCasting, and I know I’m a fucking stud!
Part of the formula here is obvious: they’re updating the catalog, and have been for the decade they’ve been online. It looks like they’ve sped up since the early days, too, because they’re putting out a new movie almost every single day. That Horny Housekeeper video I mentioned was uploaded within the last few hours. My golden standard for any paysite is just one update a week, but these guys give you another reason to stop by on nearly every day of the week.
Runtimes are on the shorter end for premium porn, but it’s not a dealbreaker like it might be anywhere. For one thing, they’re uploading way more movies than the next guy, and all those minutes do add up to a higher volume of fresh content than most joints. This is also a genre that works very well in a roughly 12-minute format. I’ve got to get the babes into various situations and positions over at PornDudeCasting, but JOE and upskirt don’t require such complications.
Having an Upskirt Jerk with UpskirtJerk
After poking around and getting the lay of the land, it was time to settle in for my official fap test of UpskirtJerk. By this point, I’d seen enough thumbnails and previews to start building up my masturbatory queue. I had a bunch of movies I knew I’d be watching soon, but for once, I knew exactly where I was going to start.
This chick Delilah Jynx had caught my eye in the first minutes of my visit. The cute blonde’s got a total girl next door vibe in the thumbnail for Cum To Help, released just last week. I tapped the Play button and Delilah appeared on the screen, bending over in her little plaid skirt as she looks for some lost thing. “If you’re not going to help, you can leave,” she says to the viewer. “I can’t have you looking up my skirt while I’m looking for things. It’s very distracting!”
She pleads her case for help while calling me naughty. “This is why I don’t wear skirts around you,” she says. “You’re such a pervert.” It only takes her a minute to decide she’s going to help her visitor get off, because really, I’m much better at finding things after I achieve post-nut clarity. Delilah giggled and made some jerk-off motions while I looked up her skirt, making this a literal Upskirt Jerk scene.
“Would it help if you saw from the back again?” she asks before giving us another view of the cake. She hikes the skirt up a little more this time, part of a slow reveal that lasts for almost the full duration of the flick. The panties don’t come off until nearly 7 minutes in, revealing a bald beaver that was well worth the wait.
“Come on. Faster than that, baby,” Delilah said. “Don’t you want to cum for me?” I did, so I did, and I still do. UpskirtJerk.com members can download to their heart’s content, so this one is now a part of my permanent offline spank bank. Now I can see and hear her beg for sperm whenever I want. “Cum for me!”
If there’s one small downside to Upskirt Jerk, it’s the one that’s going to be immediately obvious to most of you jaded perverts: compared to most paysites, this is some pretty softcore stuff. It’s solo women doing stripteases and Jack Off Encouragement, so you’re just not going to see a bunch of wet holes getting penetrated in every video. This is a more sensual genre, so those looking for more hardcore fare should look elsewhere.
If you’re into upskirt shots and JOE, though, you need to check this one out. I don’t think there’s a bigger or better-stocked archive of this material anywhere on the internet, and this one’s growing faster than the vast majority of paysites out there. Previews are free, so start there. I have a feeling you’re going to get hooked.
