7 Bit Casino might not have the hookers you often find hanging out in a physical gambling den, but at least they won’t have security drag you out for playing slots while you’re playing with yourself. I speak as an insatiable pervert, and while I know most of you can go more than a couple hours without feeling a need to satisfy yourself, there are plenty of other reasons for gambling online instead of leaving the house. Maybe you’re sick or maybe you’re lazy, or maybe you just want to watch TV while you’re raking in the bucks. Hell, maybe you just want to play slots for five minutes while you’re taking a dump.
Whatever the case, 7BitCasino.com is an online casino where you can win real money over the internet. This one doesn’t have a sportsbook, so the football betters and MMA fans may want to look elsewhere, but they’ve got damn near anything else you’d typically look for on a gambling site. The casino gets close to half a million visitors a month, and guess who’s among them today? That’s right: it's your old pal, The Porn Dude! Let me dig out my e-wallet and let’s get into it.
Stepping into 7 Bit Casino
7BitCasino greets visitors with a pretty typical front page for an internet gambling site. It’s got a polished look, with the bright colors you expect from a casino and the rounded corners you expect from a modern website. They’ve got some cute, anthropomorphized frogs in some of their promo graphics, which might be the only element that really sets the presentation apart from the next joint down the block. A good cartoon mascot can help your branding in a big way, but I have to admit, I am a little bit biased.
That’s just how it is, though, ain’t it? Even if you’re walking the strip in Vegas, the flashing lights all start to run together. At least online, it’s a little easier to compare the perks. One of the very first things I looked for at 7 Bit Casino were the welcome offers. They offer some sweet bonuses on your first four deposits. The first one straight-up doubles your money, and so does the fourth. That’s a pretty clever of way of getting you back in the doors at least a few times.
I always recommend checking the Promos page at any casino, since they don’t necessarily list all the offers out front. Besides those welcome bonuses, 7BitCasino offers a nice range of promo offers, including reload bonuses, shitloads of free spins, weekly cashback, and even a Telegram bonus. There are terms to adhere to and conditions to meet, but you knew that already. It ain’t exactly “free” money.
Speaking of money, 7BitCasino.com only lets you choose from a variety of crypto coins as your currency. This is a crypto casino in every sense of the term, but they’ve at least made banking a little bit easier than some of the other strictly crypto joints out there. Bank transfers are only available for withdrawals, which is a mild bummer, but they’ve got a nice range of deposit/withdrawal options, including Visa, Mastercard, Skrill and more.
If you’re planning on sticking around, don’t forget to check out their VIP Program. The higher you level up, the higher your chances of winning, the bigger your cashback, the lower your wagering requirements, and the better your rates for exchanging Redeemable Comp Points. They make it easy to track your level, too, putting the digits right there in the site’s header.
The Terms and Conditiosn page at 7BitCasino has an unfortunately long list of prohibited countries, including the United States, Belgium, the expected Muslim countries, and a whole fucking paragraph of other places. They don’t lock down the place as tight as some online casinos, so players in restricted countries can get in without a VPN. That said, you always risk losing your winnings on a site you ain’t technically supposed to use, so if you want to be extra safe, you can always find a different platform on my big list of Betting Sites here at ThePornDude.
Slots? Oh, I Thought You Said Sluts!
I love slot machines as much as the next guy, whether I’m playing in a “real” casino or an online joint like 7 Bit Casino. They’re just so easily accessible, ready to roll without much thought at all, the perfect low-effort way to begin any gambling session. I clicked the button to unfold the selection of Slots out front.
There are literally thousands of virtual slot machines here, from a couple dozen of the top providers. The footer text says there are over 5,000 slots, which is both crazy and believable. These companies just bang these things out endlessly, offering up seemingly infinite variations of the old fruit machine. Spin your way through old west themes, treasure hunting adventures, zombie assaults and cute little muffins with kitten faces.
If I have one complaint, it’s just that I’m not sure the setup offers easy access to the full collection. 7BitCasino.com displays slots in an endless scroll, loading more rows when you hit the Show More button. You can dial in your favorite game provider, but that’s the only way to really dig in. With over 5,000 games, I can’t help but think some are getting lost at the bottom of the pile.
If slots ain’t your thing, they’ve got a solid range of Jackpots and Instant Win games, too. The selections don’t run nearly as deep as with the slots, but I had to click the Show More button a few times to reach the end of each list. It’ll take you much longer if you’re actually gambling your way through the stack, but I mean, what else do you have to do this week?
They’re adding new games on the regular, too. Those of you who stick to the latest and greatest will have it the easiest, since they’ve got nice selections of New games and Hits listed out front. The newest games as I type this up include slots with themes like Wolf of 7Bit Street, alien fruits, and beach life. The cartoon bikini chick in the thumbnail for that last one ain’t the kind of babe I normally beat off to, but considering the lack of porn on this site, I did get a little excited to see her. Maybe it was just the prospect of winning money…
Playing Poker at 7 Bit Casino
Next, I made my way to 7BitCasino.com’s selection of Table games. They’ve got all the classic table games you expect from any casino, like hold’em, hi lo, deuces wild, fortune wheel and Super 7. Games like baccarat, roulette and blackjack each have a handful of variations to fuck with, though there seems to be a smaller range than you find on similar sites.
I was less disappointed about the range of table games and more disappointed by the fact that there are no live dealer games here. I know some folks like internet gambling because they’re antisocial, but one of the things I miss most about it is the social interactions. A live dealer internet game ain’t the same as chatting with a weirdo gray-hair swinger at the craps table, but hey, it's something.
Hopefully they add some live games in the future, from the usual providers you see on these platforms. That said, I have no idea how these things work or if it’s even possible for them to get a license. I’ve got my fingers crossed, though.
7BitCasino.com ain’t the most full-featured internet gambling site out there, but they’ve got what matters. By that, I mean thousands of slots and a decent range of other games, not to mention that killer range of promo deals. I’d say this one is easiest to recommend to folks who are looking to play with their crypto and who like a nice, fat selection of instantly accessible slots to spin through. If nothing else, take advantage of those welcome bonuses and see what you can win. Good luck, my dudes!
