Family XXX porn! Given the things I’ve seen while reviewing porn sites, nothing terrifies or revolts me anymore. Once you’ve seen deformed Disney characters piss and shit hentai orgy, you become numb to the terrors of life. However, taboo is one thing I refuse to become numb to. I will always be disgusted by you, family fuckers.
Spreading Like Wildfire
It wouldn't be so bad if taboo porn wasn't so pervasive. It's fucking everywhere. I remember when taboo was relegated to niche sites, no one had ever heard of if you didn't live in Alabama. Such is not the case anymore. Now the front page of Porn Hub is covered in the stuff.
Even as the rise of taboo porn was happening, I thought it would surely stay in its lane. No way the planet will get hooked to the stuff, right? Wrong. Very wrong. More wrong than I've ever been about something.
Taboo might disgust me, but I recognize my role here. The Porn Dude isn't all about me. It's about the readers, and the fact is, you fuckers love taboo porn, so here we are. If you fuckers are going to watch all this family fucking, you might as well do it on the very best sites. When it comes to taboo porn, no one does it like Family XXX.
As much as I hate to say it, Family XXX is a superb porn site. The design is sharp, content arousing and video quality is through the roof. If Family XXX was about anything but family fucking, I'd visit every day.
So what is it about taboo? Why are men so drawn to it despite every ounce of our DNA demanding we never penetrate our mothers and sisters? Is it plastic in the water? Is it global warming? I'm not a scientist, so I can only analyze the situation from my place of expertise.
I'll start by saying this: If given a choice between fucking my mom or fucking a small forest-going creature, I'm fucking the squirrel every time. No questions asked.
But if you haven't noticed, there's no Squirrel XXX. Only Family XXX, so I guess I'm alone on the squirrel fucking train. That's just fine with me. All the more squirrel pussy for me.
However, if the creators of Family XXX create Squirrel XXX with the same care and skill, I might have to start jerking off to squirrels. That's how good these fuckers are.
Crunching the Numbers
Many people have tried to figure out what the fuck is going on. One thought is that taboo is not about actually being attracted to family members. It has to do with how taboo an activity is. If fucking family wasn't so despised by humans, humans wouldn't want to do it so badly.
That makes some sense, but it's not enough to excuse such behavior.
From what I can tell on Family XXX, this shit is about more than taboos. If it was that, the actors and actresses wouldn't lean so hard into being related. They could just mention it once or twice and be done. Instead, every other word out of these sluts mouths is brother, mother, and sister. Your relatives have names, you know.
Also, if the taboo was the biggest turn-on, Family XXX wouldn't have to create such well-shot content. Taboo doesn't require 4K. Taboo can be done in 1080p.
Instead, Family XXX releases some of the highest-quality content in any genre. These fucks don't cut corners. They put everything they have into every scene. It's much appreciated.
Think of it like this. If someone put a gun to my head and said I could either fuck my mom or spend a year alone in a dark, haunted cave where I would be poked in the eyes twice a day, I would spend the year in a cave. It takes no thought. I'd much rather my eyes be penetrated by hot pokers than my mom be penetrated by my giant penis.
Game of Porn
So the taboo argument is out of the window. Other folks look toward the portrayal of taboo in media. I've got three words for you right now: "Game of Thrones." If you haven’t seen it, let me be the one to inform you that it's packed to the gills with family fucking.
There is even a pair of fucking twins that bone! What could be worse than fucking your twin? You might be better off fucking a dead body. And if that bitch gets preggo, you better find a Planned Parenthood, stat. You don't want to produce any three-headed children.
The problem is that all the bitches on "Game of Thrones" are sexy as all hell. I'd fuck the dragon queen whether she was related to me or not. I guess even I am susceptible to weakness, but that bitch set an unreachable standard. Nobody's sister is that hot. Bitches that sexy only come around once in a lifetime. We're lucky she showed us her tits.
I refuse the popular media excuse as well. First off, a single piece of media depicting taboo in a somewhat positive light, even a famous one, doesn’t make up for the thousands of shows, movies, and books that have portrayed it as awful and appalling. Second, I didn’t want to start stabbing people after watching Dexter. I don't want to beat up henchmen after watching Batman. Media is not a justification for such debauchery.
On that note, if you're looking for a little "Game of Thrones" porn parody, Family XXX has you covered. And you can bet the bitch playing the Dragon Queen is sexy as fuck. My mouth begs for her titties.
A third theory put forth by researchers has some truth to it. Who watches porn the most? Guys like us. Men who freely admit they are addicted to porn and love it. The fact is, everyone masturbates, but few jerk off as often as us. When you do the math, folks like us outwatch the rest of the population. When you see a million views on a video, most of those were made by my readers.
It’s the frequent flyers that bring the most traffic. Businessmen have known this for decades. Anyone trying to make a decent porn site knows it as well. If you find a niche that fap addicts love, you're site is guaranteed to be profitable.
The best part about this solution is that it leaves me with room to assume most humans still hate taboo. That gives me marginal comfort as I fall asleep at night.
Unfortunately, I can only give this theory so much credence. The reason is that no man on planet Earth jerks off to porn more often than me. I’m the fucking fap king. If I can find extreme content that doesn’t involve my mother, you can also.
Regardless of why, the fact is that taboo is here to stay. If you're going to be a disgusting fucker who watches it, you might as well watch the best, and that's what Family XXX offers.
Doesn't Break the Bank
You don't get content this good for free. You'll have to become a member if you want to pretend to fuck your mom. They offer four levels to choose from. The first is a three-day trial for $4.95. You won't need three days to discover you love Family XXX. It will only take five minutes.
The second is a one-month membership for $29.95. That's a bit expensive if you ask me. Don't worry; you can buy in bulk if you'd like a discount.
A three-month membership takes the price down to $18.25 a month. That saves you over ten bucks. That's enough money to start saving for a Fleshlight.
The final and best option is the one-year monthly membership for only $12.50. At $12.50, this is one of the best deals on the net. There is no reason for any taboo lovers out there not to subscribe.
Family XXX offers serious bang for your buck. They have almost ten thousand exclusive scenes you won't find anywhere else gathered over twenty years. It's hard not to build an incredible website when you've been around for two decades.
There are twenty-five hundred different porn stars and models on that site that create multiple weekly updates. Whether you wish to stream or download porn, Family XXX has you covered.
Family XXX is optimized for use on phones, tablets, laptops, and desktops. And I'm not the only one singing Family XXX's praises. They've been nominated for well over fifty awards.
If you watch taboo porn, Family XXX is your new playground. I might hate you, but that doesn't mean I won't help you jerk off to the best porn around.
My only complaint is all the fucking taboo porn everywhere. I find it quite offputting.
But you fuckers don't so live your best lives on Family XXX.
