Of course, I haven’t ever wanked my willy to beastiality porn, but I’ve wrung out a nut or two while watching furry porn. It’s essentially the same thing but legal. The humans under those ridiculous college sports mascot costumes are more animal than human. Am I proud of myself after all is said and done? No. Is it one of those post-nut clarity instants that make your soul burn? Absolutely. One thousand percent. But much like a Big Mac at MacDonald's, no matter how much it tears me up inside, I return for more.
Old bitches? Definitely not my favorite, but here is the thing. I love jerking off to 18-plus college porn, even if no mascots are involved. There is nothing like the immaculate body of a lady just experiencing freedom for the first time. The tragedy of life has yet to sully their being. The eternal wheel of time hasn’t wilted their breasts or taken the shine from their eyes. Everything is flawless and pristine.
But I'm an equal-opportunity employee. I'll fuck a college senior one day and a GILF the next. The thing is, GILFs aren't real. Only GITTAs. Also, known as Grandmas, I try to avoid. If I see a fuckable GILF, I still call her a MILF. It makes me feel better about myself.
Speaking of feeling better about myself, jerking off to hot old bitches balances out my passion for 18-plus college chicks. I'm nothing if not all about balance in my porn, and sometimes that means fapping my thing to the geriatric and infirmed.
Getting Gross
I’m often questioned about my opinion on piss and shit porn. I’ll start by stating I appreciate it far more than I appreciate fucking incest porn, but that should go without saying. Or at least I wish it did.
I want to be clear. Am I waking up every morning to the sounds of a dude dropping a log in the mouth of an Albanian midget? Not generally. Do I like to experiment in a bit of piss play on occasion? Yeah sure. Why the fuck not? I do a little bit of everything.
Doodie, though? Doodie is a different beast. I can’t pick up my dog's turds without asphyxiating, so a person's shit is way off the table. My body has a visceral response to the sight and scent of fresh poo. There is no way for me to avoid it. I'll stick to pee, please, and thank you.
I imagine your next question will be, “What about putting your penis in the pooper?” First off, it’s a warm damp hole attached to the female form, so of course, I want to ram my Jimmy Johnson in it. I’ll stick my wang in most warm damp orifices not attached to a woman's body, so a hole between a bitches butt cheeks sounds fantastic.
Put Me in a Figure Four, Mommy
If I'm as familiar with my fans as I know I am, eighty percent of you betas are pro wrestling fans. For those unfamiliar with the art form, it’s somewhere between a fight, a dance, and a soap opera. These days the major pro-wrestling circuit is pretty family-friendly. However, in days gone by, it was much more of a spectacle that even included boobies sometimes. That's why so much attitude-era content floats around r/WrestleFap.
The Handprints That Changed My Life
Divas such as Sable would compete in bikini contests. Sables body put hair on my chest as a young man. I still remember when she ripped her shirt off to expose her tits, barely covered by a painted-on handprint. Even when they were wrestling in the ring, most of the moves involved groping and scissoring.
Porn wasn’t an omnipresent element of life yet, so young men had to get it where they could locate it. Fortunately, Vince McMann was fully cognizant of this fact. I wouldn't be the man I am today if he wasn't.
As I said, these days, the WWE is family-friendly. You're about as likely to see a tit as you are at a church. Fortunately, there are porn wrestling leagues that remove all pretense. On r/WrestleFap, you can watch women that tower over the average man wrestle until things devolve into a lesbian orgy.
Grey Skies Are Gunna Clear Up. Put on a Happy Face
Let's get right to check out some of the content on r/WrestleFap. You won't make it very far without seeing WWE diva Skye Blue. She's by far the most popular diva on r/WrestleFap. This bitch is everywhere, and I understand why. She's one of the sexiest bitches to ever step into the ring.
Her best asset is her ass. That thing is thick and delectable. I want to pour gravy on it and eat those cheeks up. If you spanked her, that ass would jiggle for five minutes.
Much of the content on r/WrestleFap is of WWE and AEW diva superstars. Wrestling companies don't hire ugly cunts. Sex sells, and they know it. Even family-friendly wrestling organizations rely on fuckable whores to sell tickets. Men are such simple creatures. We can't help it.
About half of the diva content on r/WrestleFap is shot from the ring, and the other half is a promo or modeling pics. Personally, I prefer the shit taken from the ring. It feels more authentic. Otherwise, I could be looking at any old whore.
When it comes to old-school wrestlers, Trish Stratus pops up quite a bit. Once again, I have no questions as to why. She's as fine as they come, even to this day. As a milf, she might be even hotter. I bet Trish Stratus will still be fuckable when she's eighty.
The only three things my readers do is play video games, beat off, and watch wrestling. Why not combine your wrestling and porn for a more efficient experience. I know how busy you guys are, what with having no jobs.
As much as I love it, r/WrestleFap could use some more gifs. Pics are fun, But I want to see bitches getting body slammed.
It's time for you to put down this article and pick up your penis. Skye Blue eagerly awaits your cum.
